Saturday, July 24, 2010


All the other women in my family beat this, with the exception of two, why should I right? I tell you, the things you inherit from family huh?

I guess I pay no attention to it because I'm scared. Well, more nervous than anything. Never really liked going to the doctor's anyway. I mean, why go if you only leave feeling sick and miserable.

Whatever this biological ish they got me taking sucks, I haven't had it shoved into me in weeks.

I'm stubborn, if I don't want to do it I won't. And as stupid as that is... it's just the way I am.

I've skipped the last four appointment's because well, I can't stand to feel the way I feel.

I gotta grow up and deal, but I don't want to.

Ummmm in other news, I went apartment hunting today. It was very exciting. This is what I need, to get out of this house and stop dreading going home after work.

Ugh, I can barely stand the excitement.

I haven't seen any of the sisters in a while but they give me an earful when we talk. Always fussing at me about not taking care of myself and such.

It's just that I have so much to do. I'm working 7 days a week now, but I will get a vaca from work when I go home. But I've got things to handle there too.

Visiting Ashton's grave first, burning my flag like we promised. Sad, but ready to officially let my hurt go.

Jumping back into old Courtney Friday night, runnin' with my cousins out to Le Grange to handle some business, pay off they lil' debts so they can start over fresh like I had too. Fighting not really what I'm trying to do, but when I go home, it's always something going down.

The first two days will be good during the day but hell on earth at night. Sunday things will be cool, and my trip home will really begin. I can't wait to see my grandmother, I miss her soooooo much.

I'm thirsty for her wisdom and reassurance. The kind of love only a grandmother can give.

My family back home is everything to me, I'd take care of them before I'd help the people in my own house because when I was going through the people in my house refused to be there. But back home in Bastrop County, they've always held me down.

Ever wondered if there was really a such thing as a soul mate? and if homeless people ever feel sorry for the unhappy filthy rich people?

Oh ummm tattoos on deck I believe... 21 in 19 days, Va Beach here I come.

TEXAS IN 5 DAYS!!!! OH I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will most def also catch up on some sleep. I havne't slept well in about two weeks, falling alseep @ like 3 wakin' up @ 5:30, taking hour long cat naps.

But hey, at least I'm not guzzling energy drinks like some people I know (you know I'm talking about you trouble), you really oughta stop drinking those things they're so bad for you.

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