After that last blog about me not feeling as passionate about basketball I hadn't stepped foot into the gym. It got so bad that I wouldn't even walk through it. I walked around it.
The small workout room in The Quad even became my worst enemy. I was so upset at the fact that things had went the way they went. First I lost my drive and then I lost the respect of my so-called teammate.
Someone who is supposed to have my back. She turned on me, didn't inform me that we would be starting our individual practices and preseason workouts. She pretty much said that I have no spot on the team.
That I wasted my time busting my ass all summer long. That I wasn't ready, that I belonged in the stands not on the court, or the bench for that matter.
That was my push.
I went to the gym today and busted ass all by myself. I ran for a bit then shot around for a little over an hour. Then I went in the weight room and lifted. It felt good to be back in my corner.
The place where I am most comfortable. Where my mind is at peace even though my body is in constant motion. The place where I can cry, laugh, dance, smile, be angry yet calm, the place where I lay my burdens down. Even if just for a few moments.
It is my sanctuary. Where I can turn off all the lights, open the balcony windows and have enough of God's light to do what I gotta do.
This is where I belong, I regret leaving it for even that small amount of time but I'm back, with open arms it accepts me and welcomes me back.
All I needed was that push, so thanks girl for leaving me out. And like I said yesterday.
Why didn't you tell me? no answer... oh you scared now, you should be because now more than ever I want your spot. And I'm coming.