Duck

You need to stop thinking about the sh*t niggas in ya past put you through, they didn't deserve you anyway. If you continue to be scared of love because of the past you'll miss out on what the future holds for you. -Duck-

Damn she's right.

Duck pretty much put me in my place last night. And as much as I hate to admit it. She's so right. I use to think that I just had trust issues but in reality I'm scared as hell. For everything I had to say about why I was scared or why I acted the way I did she had a counterattack.

I realize that love isn't easy, I understand that. However, I don't believe it should be this difficult. There is no way I can put all of my heart and soul into a relationship and get hurt and then be ready and willing to just jump right back in the game. It's hard to forget about the things that hurt you the most. Duck says I have to be willing to let go, and just like always, she's right. I know I have to learn to let go but easier said than done.

I'm doing better though, I don't have as many walls up as I used to, but Duck pointed out that as many walls as I have let down, the biggest one is still standing... sure it's been chipped away at but...

Duck said that I'm not really scared of getting hurt again, once you've been hurt you know what the pain feels like. She said that I'm afraid of being happy because me being happy has led to me being hurt. Dang what a way of putting it huh? Like wow!

She said that I need to stop being a punk and grow the hell up. Me wanting to be independent and strong is gonna lead to me being single and full of resentment. If I don't get it together I could miss out on great things to come. She has a point that I cannot challenge.

I gotta get my mind right...

If you continue to let your past scare you, it will scare you right past your future.