Got Passion?

The court. My heart resides there. Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard, push myself to push for it so much. At times I question my ability, wonder if my skill set is where it needs to be.

I do know this though, as hard as I try, and as much as I give, I deserve all the good that will come out of the hard work and effort I put in.

I know if I do what is required of me, I will be unstoppable.

Gotta love the game of basketball.

Sometimes I wonder if those who tell me basketball is just game are passionate about anything, if they have lives. I believe that anyone who is not passionate about something is doomed to hit a dead-end in life.

What is your purpose for living when you have nothing to live for? Why wake up everyday mad because what you do is not something you're passionate about?

To try and push someone away from their passion is like the same thing as killing them. If anyone ever told me that I couldn't play basketball ever again, I would die, emotionally. See the thing most people are passionate about isn't just a hobby.

It is life.

An artist's studio, a teacher's classroom or study, a dancer's hall, a racer's car, a mother/father's home, a preacher's church... they are where life happens, where the adrenaline rush is so great it inspires others to want to be great.

In here, nothing else matters, the outside world is but a dream.

My heart resides in the gym, where does yours reside?

Your Face Is Funny

So, I'm in the middle of a conversation but a thought just occurred to me. What is something absolutely ridiculous to do?

What is the one thing that will make people think you're weird, special, and telling the truth all at one time.

I sit in an office facing a window. And outside, there are people, tons of them. Everyday, walking by just living their lives.

Watch them.

They do some quite funny things. Some sing, badly, others talk to themselves, no there was no blue tooth, and some just... are different.

Take for instance this guy I saw a few days ago. He tripped and fell... but the funniest part was the way he began to look around to see if anyone saw him. HILARIOUS!

My favorite thing about people are their expressions. Who cares what just happened really. What kind of face is the person making as it is happening.

Take America's funniest home videos for example. People are capturing some extremely funny moments. But it is the facial expressions that win me over.

I Should Be Worried

But I'm not. A little scared, but that's normal. My response to this news was typical... a few tears and a phone call to my mom.

I had the hardest time telling my bestfriends, I guess because I'm in denial. I kind of knew, like you know how sometimes you can just tell, well unfortunately this was this kind of moment.

And although this is another sign that I should probably take it easy, I'm ignoring it. All I can think about is how this is going to slow me down. But I won't let it. I can't afford to. I'll still be working out and running.

This isn't major but it is major. So many people beat it why should I be any different. I am blesses enough to not stress about it. I'm already focused on when I'll be able to get on the court.

Gotta do this asap. Don't think things will change though...

...still going to work and still taking my vaca to the beach. And, I really have no time to worry about this because I have family and friends who need so, I gotta be there for them. Especially my family back home.

We seem to be losing a great deal of people we love. Cousins, uncles, aunts, family friends. But we'll get through it. We are some strong people, and we never ever, stay down for to long.

I can't wait to get home so that we can all be together. There is nothing like sitting outside at night watching the old men play dominoes and the women drink that evil juice lol.

Well, I gotta run. But I'm in one of my moods so I wil def be blogging all day long.

I been prolonging the inevitable. I've been holding in this cry for 2 whole days now, and frankly I'm about to let it all out.

I LOST MY FREAKING VOLLEYBALL SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like having to choose between two sports was bad enough, but damn, to hear we're just gonna take your volleyball scholarship away so you can focus on basketball was like telling me I couldn't handle it.

Because that's how I feel. Like everyone thinks I can't handle playing both sports. How the hell do they expect me to function in the Fall? Oh yeah, that's right...

Track. WTF!!!! I have nothing against track but my heart isn't all into it. It's just a hobby really. But, I guess I gotta get the money from somewhere.

This is a feeling I really can't shake. It's like being told that I suck. That I'm incapable of performing the task at hand.

Can't let this phase me for to long, still got a job to do. Gotta be mad now but over it right after now.

Currently Screaming.

This may not seem like a big deal too anyone else, but for, this is life. I live to play. Well, After the important people in my life... I live to play.

Work

I'm not tired today, just a lil beat from this heat. Haha I rhymed, did ya catch that? Where was I? Oh yeah, beat heat... running the hills in the hot sun makes me feel as if by August I'll be as black as a July crow (i know, that's real country).

I've been in an extremely relaxed mood since Sunday morning, I do believe church has something to do with that, but, church always calms me. I've also been quite giggly. Laughing at the dumbest things, and the almost funny but not quite funny things too.

Today at work the guys came and chilled with us after lunch and we had the most random conversation, about sex. Of course, I had quite a bit that I wanted to share but, I couldn't.

Yeah, I made my little comments every now and then but I said nothing incriminating. It was kind of disgusting to hear about some of things they had all done. And how many people they had done them with.

It made me frown at myself just a little, I mean compared to them, I'm the Virgin Mary, but still... WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW.

This makes me feel so much better about my ability to not do the do. It even suppressed that little craving I woke up with.

Smh, but there is one girl who claims to be a virgin in our little group. The guys said she's a virgin in the *points down at the va-j-j* area but her mouth is well on its way to being given the Nobel peace prize (whatever that means lol).

All I could do is laugh... still laughing... ok I'm done. We all shared some random thoughts, ideas, and stuff that was just TMI for me lol.

But work was mad chill today and now, I'm going home to cook, watch Hawthorne, and pass out from the heat.

Simply Tired

This morning I woke up at 5 so that I could be dressed and on campus by 6 for my morning workout. That's right, my morning workout. My beloved 5 p.m. workouts are well.. I'll get to that.

This morning I did my lifting and footwork drills. That wasn't bad. The weight room was nice and cool and the sun hadn't begun to burn me yet. After workouts I took the greatest shower ever (new shower heads in the coaches locker room, nice) and went to work.

From 8-5 I worked my butt off and was ready to get picked up (car is dead) and go home, forgetting that I had my running workout and line dance class to tend to. It is now 7:15 and I am worn out.

I'm about to take a long hot bath, climb into my because I am not cooking tonight and read until I fall asleep. I am simply to tired to do anything... even this blog is about to come to an abrupt end.

I Didn't Settle

I was walking to the office Friday from the cafe and I realized something about V. State that I hadn't before. That as much as I hated it here, it wasn't half bad. It isn't half bad.

I don't know why I dreaded being a student here so much when this is the very place that I grew up. I guess it is because most people go to college in search of new places to start over. To re-create themselves.

They want to get away. I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to get away too. I had huge dreams. And not to place the blame elsewhere but, after getting hurt, going D1 seemed impossible. But, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

I had so many plans that I had forgotten if He doesn't want it for me, it's not going to happen. That statement is so true.

Anyway, I ended up here and to be honest, it is the best place for me. The people here, they spoil me. Not in a, whatever you want way either. They spoil me with knowledge and love. It is on this campus that I have learned some of the most important lessons I could ever learn.

It is where I found love, in that gymnasium. Where I fell deeper in love with the game. Being able to spend hours in the gym because my mom had practice or an office full of student-athletes meant that I was in the gym everyday.

This is where I learned wrong from right. How to be responsible, how to be a young lady. What not to do, and what to always do. Here I gained hundreds of big sisters and brothers. Saw my first step show, experienced an HBCU homecoming.

This is where I first noticed how good of a thing change really is. This campus, for me, holds memories that I never want to forget, and some I hate having to remember.

I understand that being here is not a result of me settling, it is a result of me being placed here. This is where I need to be, all the great things I am to, I will do here.

It is with open arms that I accept this task before me, and with a strong will and open mind I am jumping in with no reservations.